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The 20 Best Alcohol-Related Simpsons Quotes of All Time.

by:theexplodingdetective.com



(Click the episode title to watch the episode)

20. [1F15] Bart Gets an Elephant - - Homer: "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

19. [5F03] Bart Star - - Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?

18. [7G03] Homer's Odyssey - - Homer: “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.”

17. [4F22] The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson - - Barney: “Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.” clip

16. [CABF04] Homer vs. Dignity - - Lenny: “Wow, I never seen you have so many lunch beers before, Homer.”

15. [KABF09] Papa Don't Leech - - Royce Lumpkin: “I better whisky up these corn flakes.“

14. [CABF17] Simpsons Tall Tales - - Hobo: “And thanks to that little girl, today you can find applesin everything that's good: Apple wine, apple whiskey, apple schnapps, apple martinis, uh, Snapple with vodka in it, apple nail polish remover ...”
Lisa: “Don't forget apple sauce.”
Hobo: “Yeah ... I suppose you could grind some pills into it.”


13. [CABF03] The Great Money Caper - - Marge: “I'd like to visit that Long Island place ... if only it were real.”

12. [5F18] Natural Born Kissers - - Homer: “Well, this time I'm drunk on love... and beer. “

11. [2F03] Treehouse of Horror V - - Homer: “No TV and no beer make Homer something something”
Marge: “Go crazy?”
Homer: “Don't mind if I do.”
clip

10. [8F13] Homer at the Bat - - Umpire: “You can't leave first until you chug a beer, any man scoring has to chug a beer, you have to chug a beer at the top of all odd numbered innings. Oh and the fourth inning is the beer inning.”
Cheif Wiggum: “Hey, we know how to play softball.” clip

9. [BABF21] Treehouse of Horror XI - - Lenny: Mmmm. Alcohol and night swimming. It's a winning combination!

8. [4F19] Homer's Enemy - - Lenny: He had three beers at lunch. That would make anybody sleepy

7. [9F14] Duffless - - Homer: Marge, I'm going to Moe's. Send the kids to the neighbors, I'm coming back loaded.

6. [1F20] Secrets of a Successful Marriage - - Homer: ”Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive? Marge: “That's because you were drunk!”
Homer: “And how.”

5. [9F14] Duffless - - Homer : When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer that I purchased with a fake ID, my name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was seventeen.

4. [8F16] Bart the Lover - - Homer: "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels here . . . .^%&$`#^&*)$=(#beer&@~&. . . . .five dollars, get outta here."

3. [5F23] The Joy of Sect - - Homer: “Homer no function beer well without.”

2. [9F14] Duffless - - Homer: “Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um.. Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman”

1. [4F15] Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment - - Homer: “To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems. “